Mother Hera in Me: Wicca, a Year and a Day (Day 31)

Today we are asked to consider both the light and dark aspects of the Mother Goddess and how those are reflected in our own lives. This is a tough one for me as I don’t see a lot of the typical Mother in me at the outset. I care about people and am compassionate, but not particularly nurturing in the common sense of that word. I am more apt to let someone struggle until they ask for help than I am to offer help at the outset. Then again, that’s how I was raised by my mother, which I think is a good thing, so perhaps that is how the Mother Goddess does express herself in me. Perhaps that is its own kind of nurturing.

They say Hera cast Hephaistos down from Olympus and into the depths because of his disability. She is often seen as cruel because of this. As a disabled person, however, I get it. My mom encouraged and enforced in me a fierce independence that said I CAN do things until I absolutely cannot do things. There is nothing that is beyond me until it is absolutely beyond me. I would rather struggle and flail than be coddled. When I truly did need help, all I had to do was ask, but none was offered until that time. The assumption under which she operated was that I was 100% capable, and that was the assumption under which she taught me to operate as well. It probably looked cruel sometimes, but it was the best possible thing for me. Sometimes little birds with broken wings need to be kicked out of the nest even earlier than birds with two good wings because it is going to take them longer to learn how to fly.

That’s the mother instinct in me, both for shadow and for light—looking as if it is shadow when in fact it is the brightest light. It is wonderful, upon reflection, to note how much of Hera was in my mother and, because of that, how much Hera has been passed on to me.

-M.

PS
Today is the beginning of the Mercury retrograde, so I’m glad, looking ahead for the next two weeks, I will mostly be doing contemplation and rituals to attune myself with the various energies of deity. Me and magic during the Mercury retrograde do not mix and I have had some magnificent magical backfires because of it.

Imbolc and the Magical Mess: Wicca, A Year and a Day (Day 30)

Today we are talking about how Imbolc is a sabbat that celebrates, in part, readying the earth for its fertile time. In that spirit, the second Imbolc exercise for today (I’m playing a bit of catch up—read here for more on that), we are to examine a small area of our homes or lives that has become a mess, reflect upon what the clutter says about what has been going on with us both physically and spiritually, then tidy up in the spirit of making ourselves ready to receive magically and abundantly as the Earth comes into that phase of her cycle.

I have several little messes going on in my home at the moment. Mostly cluttered up tabletops. My dresser, in particular, is a near constant problem spot. Not a huge mess, but a small pile of clutter that comes from days and weeks of needing somewhere to set all the daily whatnots that come into the bedroom and then not quite ever getting those things into their proper places.

I have this habit with my magic as well. I tend to perform spells very well, but stumble in the cleanup—putting all the tools back in their proper places, burying candle ends, scattering ashes—things of that nature. Because of this, I have noticed that energy builds up in and around my altar and, often, the magic I have worked only disperses part of the way because, while some of it was released into the either through the working itself, the rest of it was never properly let go as all the tools and odds and ends still lie about, ungrounded, vibrating with the energy of the magic.

That pent up vibration has been so strong in the past, that it has even caused backfires with the spell itself. Mostly hilarious backfires, mind you, but backfires nonetheless that are energy that could have been better put toward manifesting my intentions.

What this says about me is something I have known for a long time: I’m a much better starter than I am a finisher. I’m the idea guy. I’m the architect, not the contractor. That’s no excuse for leaving my magic and my personal space to its own devices, but that is my nature. In fact, it is often impressive in my magical working that I actually get beyond the idea for the spell at all to actually do the thing. Still no excuse for properly finishing, but a true observation nonetheless.

Time to change that or, at the very least, make a good effort at progressing toward the better. I cleaned off my dresser so the funny little decorations I have there can radiate their joy once again into my space. Those lovey mice do give me a great deal of joy. Time for love and order to shine through in my personal space, in my life, and in my magic.

Here’s to keeping things in order. Here’s to letting the beauty you planned so meticulously actually manifest. Here’s to finishing what you start. Here’s to all good things coming to fruition. Here’s to the greening Earth awakening to grace us with life reborn. Here’s to the spirit and season of Imbolc.

-M.

PS
I even dusted. Now THAT’S magic!

What the Magical Home Says: Wicca, A Year and a Day (Day 29)

Today, still working through the Imbolc material, we are asked to consider our home environment as sacred, magical space and reflect upon what the current state of that space says about us.

Mainly, I think my space says that I am running out of space. I share my home with a bunch of other family, so my personal living space is quite small. I have one small bedroom to myself and an office housed in another small bedroom. My whole life has to fit in these two little boxes and, even then, I share closet and bookshelf space so they aren’t 100% mine. That isn’t a complaint. With the current housing crisis in California, I’m grateful my family and I have a place to live at all and there are many blessings to be gleaned from living together in a multi-generational home. It’s just that having a lot of space to myself is not one of those blessings.

But still, I have room for all I need and many lovely decorations, knickknacks, and non-necessities besides. I have a desk for magical work and a funky TV tray from which I do my writing and computer work. I do my crafting also from my writing space. I even manage to eke out a little spot in my crowded bedroom in which to workout. Life is a little cramped in the sacred space that is my home, but it flows nonetheless. Even a narrow little stream can run quick and deep.

One offhand question in today’s reading struck me in particular. It asked if our space was childlike. I’m not sure if we were meant to consider that a bad thing as it was buried in with all the questions about clutter and mess, but I personally do not consider it in any way a bad thing. My space is a mixture of both the adult and the childlike. My bed linens, for example, are quite nice and well-matched, but when my bed is properly made up, it is piled high with plushies, which I joyfully collect. Piled so high, in fact, that I often refer to it as a “nap deterrent” because it is a big job of work getting them put up there just so.

Plushie Mountain a.k.a. The Nap Deterrent

Another example is that on my dresser I keep family heirlooms right alongside Mickey and Minnie Jim Shore figurines that deeply delight me. I have a proper vanity for my makeup where everything is put up and well-organized, but on top of which I have some Cinderella things that remind me of the deep transformation that can come from enduring hardship and keeping the faith.

Balance, I think, is what we should be going for. Being so very adult all the time is enough to drive anyone mad, and the gods only know I have plenty enough madness in my life as it is without driving myself crazy with undue stodginess.

So that is the second thing my space says about me: I am grown but light of heart. Mix that in with the terribly profound thing I said earlier about even narrow little streams running quick and deep, and you really have something.

Now, if only I could do something with the big, disorderly pile of half-finished latch hook canvases I have in my office, I could add something about thousands of stitches in time…

Well, we can’t be all wise and all magical all the time, can we?

Onward to day 30 which I will be tackling later today as I am playing a bit of magical catch up, (read more about it here). See you then.

-M.

Disney Magic-al Interference

Playing a little catch up today with my magical work after several days off. Last week was wild—wonderful, but wild. I had a date to go to 80s Night at Disneyland overnight on Wednesday, had Thursday to recover, then went to Disneyland again on Friday to celebrate a friend’s birthday for a marathon 5:30am to 2:00am day. Both days, I was up for more than 24 hours and, let me tell you people, I am far too old for that. And doing it twice with only one day to recover was entirely too much.

I’ve got a serious case of the first world problems over here, let me tell you.

Anyway, all the Disney magic put a cramp in my regular magical work and Year and a Day course. Being a horrible, tired, mentally fuzzy, grumpy bitch after having been up playing for more than 24 hours is no place from which to work the woo.

I’m back at it today though and will be making a couple of posts still working through the Imbolc material.

I missed the traditional Imbolc date, which was yesterday, in my haze of being partied out, but I take solace in the fact that I generally am more about celebrating the sabbats on their actual astronomical occurrences, thus I have until tomorrow to get my magical act together.

That’s as good a rationalization as any.

I’ll see you later today with the good stuff. We are working on preparing sacred space. I promise I’ll try to make that at least a little more exciting than it sounds.

Until then.

-M.

PS
Some pictures to prove it really was a double Mouse House party week and not me just being a lazy witch.

Just the beginning of the two-hour line to get 80s Night pins.
Pins acquired. Two-hour wait sitting on concrete and probably permanent spinal injury because of it? Totally worth it.
Disney marathon day 2. Friday. I’m the one in the back with the red sweater and black hat. Awfully energetic for no sleep. I think that might have been my last ounce of verve for the week.

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 34 (Food-ish)

“Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.” -Michael Pollan

Fun fact: I live in the city where McDonald’s was founded. My great-grandmother used to walk my mom down to the original McD’s once a week during the summer for a dinner that didn’t involve cooking in the blasting heat. Point being, my great-grandmother totally got the fast food/convenience thing, so I’m pretty sure she would also recognize the upside of all the other delicious food-ish substances that have since come along to bless this great land.

-M.

Imbolc Seeds of Change Ritual (Wicca, Year and a Day: Day 28)

Today’s exercise was the small Imbolc candle ritual for which I prepared the elemental candles on Saturday. The ritual is meant to activate the powers of the elements on our behalf to help us realize our full potential. In my case, the potential I am trying to realize is that of being an energetic person—to work consistently and energetically. I went into that in a little more detail in Saturday’s post.

For this ritual, we were to stand the candles up in a pot of birdseed, recite a certain incantation, then light the candles in turn, saying for each element, “In thought/action/feeling/silence/my soul I change with the birth of light.”

When the candles burn down, I am to extinguish them then scatter the birdseed so the energy of my ritual may be carried off to the heavens. To me, the birds consuming it also keeps the energy of the ritual in constant motion, which is the goal. It quickens my intention as it moves through the cycles of life. As the bird lives and procreates, so my spell will live on and on indefinitely—as long as the birds live, so will my magic.

The candles are still burning as I write, but I think that will make a great incantation of my own to add to the end of the ritual. As I scatter the seeds, I will say: “As long as the birds live, so will this magic.” And whenever I hear birdsong in our yard, I will know my magic is also singing through the ether.

I love it when happy magical accidents happen like that. For me, it only ever happens when I write. That’s my strongest magic and will likely always be. It is my privilege and also my greatest joy.

Tomorrow it looks like I will be doing a little ritualized housekeeping. It just so happens to coincide with chore day. You see, magic and synchronicity abound!

Always.

Until tomorrow.

-M.

PS
Ritual aside, I have to say that what is probably my greatest and most magical achievement in a while is not setting my phone on fire while filming with a lighter in my hand. I feel like Goddess Hestia had to be ALL over that one. My highest praise and thanks to her for that.

Doing the Daily Witch: Day 25 (The Current of Magical Power)

Today’s bit of witchery was to read the following quote defining magic and think about whether we agree with it or not. I’m about 90%.

“Magick is truly the driving and unifying principle under which the recognized forces that govern matter and energy operate. It is the original action, the flowing current stemming from the universal source. It is the source that separates and weaves together the very fabric of existence. Through consciousness, will, and intent, magickal power is activated.” -Melanie Marquis

This definition is a close match to the one given me by K. (my guiding deity). He did not use the word “magic” though, (and would never use “magick”). Instead, he used the word “power,” which, in this context, can be understood to be the same thing. The odd and wonderful part is that he specifically used the word “current,” as Marquis does in her definition. The coincidence is intriguing.

The only part of her definition with which I take issue is the idea that we somehow activate “magick” through will and intention—that we activate the current at all. The current of power, as K. put it, is ALWAYS active whether we apply our will or intention to it at all. As it is the operative force, there is never a time when it is inactive. Ours is not to activate or deactivate it, but, through our will and intention, to direct it and then flow with it.

-M.

Wicca, A Year and a Day: Days 26 – 27 (Seeds of Potential)

Continuing with the Imbolc exercises and playing a little catch-up today, I tackled days 26 and 27. Luckily, they went well together. (I’m doing the days a little out of order, as you can see by the day count in the picture. I’m doing this so the sabbat exercises match up with the actual sabbats instead of falling at some random time during the year.)

On day 26, we were to do a guided meditation in which we discovered a word written on a golden, glowing seed sack that represented our true potential. My word was “energy.” That’s important for me this year as I seek to wrest my life from the terrible depression that has had it in its claws for the last two years. I want to work, which is to write. I want to work most of all, and if I have the energy, I can do wonders with my work. The energy, often, is the only thing I lack. That, I believe, is why it is the world representative of my true potential.

In Day 27, we were to make sacred inscriptions on candles to prepare for a ritual to be done on day 28. We were to use a white candle to represent ourselves and on it inscribe the word we saw during the guided meditation. Mine is, as I said, “energy.”

On the yellow candle, representing air, we were to inscribe a word that represents the state of mind we need to realize our potential. As my depression is born primarily out of bipolar disorder, I wrote, “stability.”

On the red candle, we were to inscribe a word that represents the action we will need to take to realize our potential. I inscribed the word, “consistency.” I want both my energy and my work to proceed consistently. Slowly sometimes is OK, but consistency is key.

On the blue candle, we were to inscribe a word that represents the emotion we will feel if our potential is realized. I wrote “balance” as that is the emotional state attendant to stable, consistent, energy.

Finally, on the green candle, we were to inscribe a word that represents something we wish to banish from our lives that would keep us from realizing our potential. I wrote, “fatigue.” Right now, as has been for the last two years, depressive fatigue is the number one roadblock to me realizing my potential and my delicate little dream of simply being able to work.

Tomorrow will be the ritual involving the five candles. I’m looking forward to it. I think it will be quite powerful. Interesting that this ritual too should involve the use of birdseed. After the strange and wonderful events and miraculous coincidences of Wednesday, I’m not at all surprised.

See you then.

-M.

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